Recovery Defined: the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost.
Dare I suggest that we are all in a state of recovery for one reason or another? If you are breathing right now, I’m confident that this word applies to you and it is so ok. You are not a hot mess, it’s just that we constantly lose ourselves somewhere between the demands of life and the defects of our character. It’s a sobering reality really. Recovery is not a state of being held only for the alcoholic, or drug addicted, or eating disordered. It’s a state of being held for all of us that has ever lost a part of themselves. It’s a state of being held for those of us who feel that something, somewhere along the journey, was stolen from our lives.
There is pain in something lost or stolen. Pain that requires attention and a mending. There’s an after shock that echos through the chambers of our being. Recovery is a regaining, a journey to find, an all out hunt to fill the void of what was lost or stollen by the myriad of life’s experiences.
Maybe it was your strength lost to a life crushing event. Maybe it was your deep-seated contentment stolen by perfectionism. Maybe it was your peace stolen by chaos. Maybe it was your self-acceptance lost to comparison. Maybe you lost your center of worth somewhere between 5th grade gym class “weight” day and today. Maybe that day you lost the plot and thought the scale was your mentor on beauty. It may be a lot of things….
I lost myself, my true worth, somewhere between 10 years old and 40. My worth was stolen by an obsession to be thin. I lost possession of my value somewhere along the way secondary to an addiction to perfectionism. I lost control of my “center” and the ability to accept myself for better or for worse, good and bad, strengths and failures. I am in Recovery mode these days and I’ll stay here, accepting that fact, as long as it takes to regain possession of what was lost. Being in Recovery is ok. Being in recovery is a beautiful thing. Being in recovery is simply acknowledging that emptied out space in your life. Recovery is taking the hollow echo and replacing it with a beautiful symphony that makes its way through those same chambers of our heart. Recovery is a journey, and it’s one we all can take.
Lord have mercy on yourself. We often identify easily with survival mode. But, what if we surrendered to the fact that we are in recovery mode? What if we stirred our hope that what was lost or stolen can be found again, regained, possessed, replaced, healed, recovered? What if we identified our hollow places and believed in a miracle or two that those vacancies would be filled? What if we started with admitting that we are all in recovery mode and that we can regain possession or control of something lost or stolen?
Recovery is not a race. It’s a gentle place to be. Recovery is the hug that wraps its arms around our pain.
I believe in us and the power to take back the ground of our lives that was lost or stolen. I believe in us and the power to heal, to mend, and to grow… and to believe in a miracle or two along the way.