A Seat At The Table

There is a seat at the theoretical table of life for each and every one of us. It does not matter what you’ve done…. you cannot lose your spot. Full stop.

I have had some serious blunders in my days. Serious. Blunders. But, what amazes me is that nothing I have done up to this point holds power over my worth. There is no error so grave that it can even touch the center of how precious I am and how valuable I am to the people in my life. The fact that we just cannot lose our seat may be the most humbling fact I could ever fathom.

I believe in a very big God that is capable of painting the skies for me every morning.  That same God that also hangs the starts in the night sky, and breathed oceans into existence, stoops low and wipes the dirt off my brow and welcomes me home. Every Time. The same is true for you. It’s a wonder really.

If you think back down the corridors of your life I am sure you’ll find memories of things you’re really proud of. Running directly alongside those memories is this annoying, cackling call of the memories where you’ve blown it. Those memories haunt us and try to neutralize the moments we are most proud of. They stare us down, and hold us hostage, and in an insidious manner they try to tell us a thing or two about what we deserve out of this life.

I’ve started dealing with these voices in a way that seems to be working for me. Every time a memory surfaces that’s full aim is to make me feel ashamed of the woman I’ve become I imagine myself staring that memory straight in the eyes. Sometimes out loud I say, “Thank You….you’re right. I blew it badly”. I imagine myself holding a direct conversation with shame. I go on to say, “Seriously, thank you for reminding me of that because…That happened. But, all it does now is remind me of how resilient my worth is. How magical my value is. For someone who can blow it that badly and still have a seat at the table, I’m pretty freakin’ special.”

Holding a conversation with shame is not an easy thing to do. Shame is ugly and strong and is like a ghost that permeates all barriers. But, I’m telling you this we have to learn the art of talking back (Take a lesson from your children if you have to!). This is an area where we have to employ the art of grace and resolve to stand tall against this thing. With those two things in tow shame withers and becomes small and starts to get laryngitis. We have to confront the voices of the memories that’s sole purpose it to disqualify us.

I tattooed a reference to a Psalm on my wrist. When I don’t have the strength to fight against shame I merely raise a fist to this thing and it says it all…. Psalm 34:5 Those who look to Him are radiant and their faces are never covered with shame.

You are worthy, valuable, precious and a sight to behold. There is NO END to the greatness within you. We simply cannot lose the seat at the table that was destined for us.

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